Reality Check Counseling

Recently, someone asked, "What should I do if my child is abducted?"

Although the big story in the news is about a stranger abduction, that is actually very rare. Most missing children have been abducted by someone they know and trust, as opposed to strangers. So, the first thing I would do is personally visit the homes of everyone I know that my child would feel safe with...even if I don't believe she WOULD be safe with them. I would cooperate fully with law enforcement so they saw me as an alli, not an adversary.

I also wouldn't make any assumptions about what my child would or would not do. Even though we teach our children not to talk to strangers, etc., we also teach our children to follow the directions of adults. It is a very mixed message, and children will make all kinds of bad decisions, as they learn through experience how to interact in the world. Preditors count on that. They are very resourceful and very clever. Don't ever let yourself believe that your

Personally, I taught my daughter to scream for help. I taught her that, even if the abductor threatens to hurt or kill her or someone she loves, she should scream, fight, bite, run...whatever. Because, chances are, if a stranger abducted her, she was going to die, if she didn't escape. In addition, confidence provides a psychological effect that makes your child less vulnerable. I taught her to be alert, not paranoid. I wanted her to be prepared, but not terrified.

I am grateful every day that my daughter is safe. I sincerely hope that no one reading this ever has to experience the pain and anxiety of not knowing where their child is.