| Posted on October 4, 2009 at 5:49 PM |
The best way to teach a child to stop doing something is not to give in to their behaviors. Chances are, these behaviors have gotten his/her needs met, in the past. When they do the behavior, don't respond. Don't give attention to the negative, only the positive.
Intermittent reinforcement is the BEST solution. Our psychology makes us highly vulnerable to this form of behavior modification. It is what causes people to become addicted to gambling. Intermittent means that you reward a behavior in an unpredictable manner. One time, you may do nothing. Another time, you may offer some kind of reward, but it is never the same. One time, you will give him a hug when he behaves the way you want. Another time, you hand him a present or a piece of chocolate. The trick is for it be random. What will happen is that he will engage in the behavior more and more often, hoping for the "reward." But, he won't stop the behavior if he doesn't get it, because the reward is unpredictable.
That is the problem with a standard reward program. Kids stop doing the behavior you want if the reward is removed.
Categories: Parenting Issues