Reality Check Counseling

It is hard not to judge, when a parent abuses their children. It is hard for most parents to imagine how it could happen. To put it into perspective, think about all the things your parents did that you swore you would never do...never say. Yet, when you are really stressed by life or even your child's behavior, those are the first things that come to mind.

It is extremely difficult to parent differently than we were parented. That doesn't mean it is impossible, but it is definitely hard. We are also drawn to people who are about as healthy (or unhealthy) as we are. So, they tend to validate the things we believe. Most parents who abuse their children don't "plan" it, and they do love their children. They usually feel horribly guilty, if they do something as extreme as what you are describing. But, often, they don't even realize their behavior is abusive...because it is typically "better" than the way they were treated as children.

That said, there is a LOT of help available for child abusers. Maybe, instead of treating them like the worst people in the world, we could find some compassion for how difficult it is for them to be a parents. Maybe they just need a strong support system in order to learn how to do it, better.

Maybe.